Home > Mitch Slapped, Society and Culture > Men’s Room Etiquette – a Refresher Course for Neanderthals.

Men’s Room Etiquette – a Refresher Course for Neanderthals.

Some guys just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.  So for those of you who didn’t get the memo, here it is:

DO NOT START A CONVERSATION WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER IN THE MEN’S ROOM.

PERIOD.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

No exceptions means no banal pleasantries like “So, how’s your day goin’?”  Here’s a clue: my day was going just fine until you took an interest in me as soon as I pulled my dick out.  No exceptions mean no stupid, sophomoric jokes such as, “How’s it hangin?” or, “So, is this where all the pricks hang out?”  Ask me that, and I’ll pee on your leg.

There is an un-written, un-spoken code of conduct that, apparently, some guys are unaware of or blatantly ignore: you don’t chitchat in the men’s room.  You go in, you drain your radiator, you wash your hands (please, for the love of all that is holy, wash your freakin’ hands) and you leave.

Quietly.

No eye contact.  No chattering.  No exchanges.  Strictly business.  You keep your eyes, your hands, and your thoughts to yourself.

Speaking for all men everywhere, I say this: I am only pulling my wanker out in this semi-public place because it’s socially unacceptable to pee myself, so don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, don’t acknowledge my presence.  I do not exist to you.

So here’s the bottom line for all you Chatty Charlies out there; if I have my dick in my hand, I want some privacy.

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