Archive for the ‘Mitch Slapped’ Category

Walgreens decides to stay and play…for now.

August 8, 2014 Leave a comment

A few weeks ago I wrote about Walgreens’ potential move overseas for the express purpose of avoiding taxes.

Well, now it appears that they have abandoned this idea after fierce criticism from both Washington politicians and the public (their customers).  This is a good thing.  But.  Going forward, American Corporations will not use this as an object lesson in the same way you or I would use it to teach our children about good citizenship: if what you are about to do is a bad thing, don’t do it.  Instead, I can assure you, Corporate America will use this as a lesson in stealth and secrecy: don’t talk about it until it’s a done deal.


Now, I’m pissed.

September 3, 2013 1 comment

Warning: this post contains very strong language.

It’s been a while since I posted to the blog, mostly because I didn’t have anything to say.  Now, I do.  This is a photograph I took last year:

Root formation along the McKenzie River Trail.

Root formation along the McKenzie River Trail.

This is a natural root formation along the McKenzie River trail.  It has been here for hundreds of years.  Thousands of people have stopped along the trail to marvel at its beauty and all have shown the sense and courtesy to leave it alone.  Until now.

Today, my wife and I took the dog up to the trail for a Labor Day family outing and I discovered this (DJ took this photo with here cell phone):

2013-09-02 14.08.33Now, I’m pissed.  No, let me rephrase that.  I’m fucking livid.

JP, whoever the fuck you are, I hope you’re reading this.  You are a colossal piece of shit.  You hear me?  You are a miserable, festering pile of human waste.  You have forever destroyed a spectacular natural work of art.  No one will ever be able to enjoy the beauty of this root formation without having to stare at the disgusting ass wipe you left behind.  You deserve to spend the rest of your pathetic life living in a cold, colorless world where neighborhood gang bangers tag your stupid pickup once a week.

Fuck you, asshole.

Men’s Room Etiquette – a Refresher Course for Neanderthals.

September 20, 2012 Leave a comment

Some guys just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.  So for those of you who didn’t get the memo, here it is:




No exceptions means no banal pleasantries like “So, how’s your day goin’?”  Here’s a clue: my day was going just fine until you took an interest in me as soon as I pulled my dick out.  No exceptions mean no stupid, sophomoric jokes such as, “How’s it hangin?” or, “So, is this where all the pricks hang out?”  Ask me that, and I’ll pee on your leg.

There is an un-written, un-spoken code of conduct that, apparently, some guys are unaware of or blatantly ignore: you don’t chitchat in the men’s room.  You go in, you drain your radiator, you wash your hands (please, for the love of all that is holy, wash your freakin’ hands) and you leave.


No eye contact.  No chattering.  No exchanges.  Strictly business.  You keep your eyes, your hands, and your thoughts to yourself.

Speaking for all men everywhere, I say this: I am only pulling my wanker out in this semi-public place because it’s socially unacceptable to pee myself, so don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, don’t acknowledge my presence.  I do not exist to you.

So here’s the bottom line for all you Chatty Charlies out there; if I have my dick in my hand, I want some privacy.

The Cowardly Lion of Missouri

A recent story on The Raw Story is about Missouri Republican Representative Zachary Wyatt coming out as a gay man and opposing House Bill 2051 which would effectively prohibit public schools from discussing sexual orientation.  A so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill.  Whether or not it would, in fact, ban the very word itself is irrelevant.  Censorship of language to any extent in an educational environment amounts to censorship of knowledge, since we must use language to transmit and share it.  If you can’t use a word, you can’t discuss what the word means in any meaningful way.

But many others have already talked about this idiocy at length.  What I want to talk about here is the hypocrisy and cowardice of Wyatt himself.  And I understand those are harsh words, but I mean every one of them.

During his tenure in the Missouri House, Wyatt “voted for restrictions on abortions, voter ID, drug testing welfare recipients and requirements that presidential candidates prove their citizenship.”

And now, he says he’s leaving politics to study marine biology in Hawaii.

“I will [be] leaving my political life behind for sunscreen, Mai Tais and the sun,” Wyatt told his colleagues on Wednesday.

I can only guess his motivation to do this is to further document homosexuality in dolphins in order to cleanse his conscience.

And he’ll need a lot of cleansing because before now, he has spent a lot time as a closeted hypocrite actively working against the rights of other marginalized Americans.  He claims his opposition to the “Don’t Say Gay” bill is his belief that it will prevent gay students who are being bullied from getting the help they need.

Well, Representative Wyatt, the help they need doesn’t go away just because you’ve lost your stomach for the fight.

It took a lot of courage for you to open up in public.  I’ll give you that.  But if you had any real integrity, you wouldn’t abandon your principles for sunscreen, Mai Tais and the sun.  You’d stay behind and do the truly hard work of fixing the disaster you helped create.

So, deep down inside you’re still a coward.

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